Thursday, October 02, 2008

Sox Loose, Cubs won't be Outdone!

First in war, first in peace, last in the National League?

Well tonight is the first time in history that Chicago has managed to lose TWO playoff games in a single day (it may be the first time it's happened to anyone...anybody know off the top of their head if it's ever happened to New York or LA?). Honestly I've got to say I'm flabbergasted. My expectations were kinda low for the Sox who had basically tried to give away the division over the last month of the season, but the Cubs were one of the strongest teams in baseball this year.

There can be only explanation: God is punishing Illinois for Barack Obama. God help you if he actually wins the election. I foresee plagues, locusts and whatnot...possibly even a repeat of the Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio trade...the horror...the horror...

Now it's not to late for Chicagoans to get right with the Lord. If love Chicago baseball put a McCain sign in your front yard, donate to the Republican National Committee, and above all vote for John McCain.

P.J. O'Rourke has Cancer.

I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.

The essay is here.