Thursday, September 25, 2008

MacArthur Fellows 2008.

NOT a MacArthur Fellow.

Well the winners of this years MacArthur Genius awards have been announced...and once again I'm not on the list.

Before we get into a long discussion about the oblivious shortsightedness of the MacArthur Foundation, and their continuing failure to recognize one of the great minds of our age, namely me, I think we consider whose fault this is.

I blame you.

My sources tell me that not a single one of you nominated me this year. Now I know I got a few nominations last year (thanks Greg but threatening the committee was probably counter productive-it's not the Emmys) and the Nobel Prize I won was nice (who knew they awarded one for blogging?) but this is the big one...and you guys need to do better.

Oh sure, I could look within my self, trying to find a flaw or two which might explain this unbelievable snub...but who am I kidding, I have no flaws. No gentle readers, the fault is yours and you're going to have to find a way to make it up to me (nothing gay please-sorry Corey).


Dan "The Jackal" Gaines said...

I'm reading this and conceding that perhaps you may have a greater level of intelligence than do I. However a numbr of flaws with your "Go on Oprah and cry about the abuses of others" theory need to be aired:
1) You drank shitty, tasteless beer in college - Shitty, tasteless ber has been linked to decreased mental capasity, loss of S.E.S. value, poor judgement, limited compatibility, and in rare cases, sterility (since you're a breeder, you may not be sterile, but I think that the symptom is conjoined with limited compatibility)
2) Dude - you LEFT Illinois to VOLUNTARILY live in Nebraska - Looking at the roster of the 2008 Fellows, NONE come from Nebraska. The Dude from Milwaukee, well, he's a farmer, and it's hard to be cool while dragging a plow. However, dude IS an Urban Farmer, so expect to see his corn and cows on the cover of "Dwell" or in your local ROche and Bobois; and
3) You DID NOT APPLY - Ummm, if you READ the rules, you would have known that you actually need to apply for the Fellowship, not be nominated, suggested, appointed an other mulitsylaballic words suggesting.

Go to the mirrow, peer at your nemisis, and open a Rhinelander - that's where your life has lead you....

The Jackal said...

Note: after 151 days without power due to Ike, my spelling/typing abilities , well, suck. You live without power for 2 days and tell me you can do better....

admiral burns said...

Don't worry, I promised myself I wouldn't do anything gay with you again until you won a MacArthur Fellowship. Was McCormic nominated?

admiral burns said...

Since you never check your email, I will use this forum to thank you for the Baby Einstein you sent Sophia. She finds it much more engaging and animated than the Baby Hawking that I gave her.