Saturday, February 23, 2008

Staffing changes at Diminished Expectations

As many of you know, for time to time The Wife will contribute to this blog. Lately though she's been slacking off quite a bit and Diminished Expectations has become something of a one-man-show. She protests that she's busy cooking, cleaning, going to the doctor (it seems she has a couple of abdominal parasites-don't worry though she's expected to make a full recovery), giving the management of Diminished Expectations back rubs, "Other" marital duties, making a living...blah blah short she's not holding up her end of the bargain. I have therefore decided to take on two interns to assist me in my conquest of the Interweb.

As I have the old fogey market pretty much nailed down, I've decided to go with youth-all the better to know what these crazy kids are up to these days. Going with youth also makes it likely that they'll outlive me allowing my evil works to be carried on after my death-an important point if the villagers ever get wind of what I'm up to and come after me with torches and pitchforks.

Before you all get too excited at the prospect of being my lackey, I should tell you that I already have my servants picked out. Unfortunately, due to a scheduling conflict they wont be able to come on board until October 1st , but after that I intend to exploit them as cheap labor for years.

For those of you who haven't figured it out yet... The Wife and I are expecting twins. For those of you who did figure it out-you win a cookie. To receive your free cookie, send $12.95 shipping an handling to:


Anonymous said...


Warning: First 3 Months are VERY hard. All work with no sleep make daddy something something.

I seem to remember Cass being pretty career oriented. And you are kind of a slacker. Is there a possibility that you will be staying home with the youngins? It has been pretty cool for me so far. And I am planning on taking leif to a Indianapolis Indians game this summer. So I'll be at a baseball game, drinking a beer and at work at the same time. Think about that!


Dan Gaines said...

Internal parasites become external parasites - but at least you get a hug (and some poopy) for the work.

Congratulations, and i echo Greg's remarks - you'll be a great Mom.

admiral burns said...

My wife is knocked up too. But, not with twins (thank God). Twins run heavily in her family. She has 12 year old neice and nephew twins. After the first time I spent an entire day with them, I told my mother and mother-in-law that if the wife and I had twins I hoped they would be conjoined, so I could sell them right away to a circus.
We are due in September.

admiral burns said...

Oh- the twins are the new interns, and they are due in October. I get that part now.