Friday, August 10, 2007
Memo to Mike Gravel:
If you’re going to use history to support your policy position, you might want to know something about… you know…history…and stuff.
I’m not particularly worried. Then again, I’m not trying to sell my house.
Actually, I am trying to sell my house in Lincoln Nebraska at the moment. If anybody wants to make me an offer, let me know.
The Plaintiffs allege:
1) They repeatedly asked for a Quarter Pounder without cheese.
2) Based on vast experience with minimum wage employees working at the drive-through, and with full knowledge that one of their party is deathly allergic to cheese, they opted to bite into said quarter pounder in a darkened room without having first checked it, and that these actions were reasonable.
3) Like all people who discover they have been poisoned and may die at any moment, their natural impulse was to call the restaurant and complain. Perfectly natural, I’ve done it myself a thousand times. Since it’s unlikely that they happened to have the phone number at their fingertips, I assuming they had to look up the number on net, in the phone book or at least called information (unless of course they had it handy already. That would suggest they knew in advance they would be calling and that can’t be-odd). Clearly these people were determined to give McDonalds a piece of their mind, even if it meant delaying lifesaving medical treatment. On the plus side, their phone call helps establish that the allergic reaction was caused by the Quarter Pounder. Boy that was lucky.
4) Since they were slow out of the blocks because of their phone call, they had to drive in a reckless, life threatening manner to the hospital which naturally allows his mother and friend to sue McDonalds as well.
Therefore McDonalds owes them $10 million.
This story reeks.
Mapquest says Morgantown (the McDonalds location) is 38.32 miles from Clarksburg (where they consumed the food). I’ve bought a LOT of drive through fast food in my day and I’m pretty sure I’ve never driven 38 miles with it just sitting there, mocking me, tempting me with tasty goodness. Even if they weren’t hungry when they bought it, why didn’t they pick it up closer to their destination? Are we supposed to believe that there aren’t any McDonald’s restaurants in Clarksburg? Nope, according to the McDonalds store locator there are two. So the question is why would you buy food in Morgantown and drive for the better part of an hour letting it get cold?